We’ve all seen the tiktoks of people hiding their feelings into their muscles, and when they start to feel again, they get bigger muscles. It’s silly, quirky, and all in good fun. Until you realize this is exactly what you do.

Exercise is an excellent way to build confidence, boost self-esteem and increase your mood. Which is why I do it. If you feel good, you look good, and vice versa. But I’ve taken it to the extent of “I HAVE to workout.” If I don’t, I’m a big fiery mess all day. I’ve become reliant on the gym high I get, which allows me to sweat away my problems, thus shoving my feelings into my muscles. 

We all want to look good / feel good, and to live a long healthy life. We chase the post (or mid) workout mental clarity. So when does exercise become the new crutch, or vice, if you will?

Is it when you start skipping social events to get more gym time? Or waking up hours before the rest of the world so you don’t miss your workout? Or maybe thinking its ok to get up at midnight so you can hit the gym before leaving for vacation? I did that last year, and by 4pm I was delirious.

I’ve used exercise to deal with a lot of mental issues, and I ended up burning out, badly. It’s like a regular burn out, but then you still have to deal with the mental stuff you’ve been hiding in your muscles this whole time. It’s finding yourself sitting at the park with your kids, exhausted, and crying for absolutely no reason. Which, spoiler alert, is the day I decided to get counseling. But it was wild, because as soon as I realized I needed outside help, I felt loads lighter. Which worked in my favor, because moments later, I saw that my son climbed the world’s tallest tree and was stuck 30 ft in the air. And because of who I am as a person, I climbed up after him, carrying him down on my back like a monkey (which I later learned was not the normal response of other moms, they would have called the fire department). 

So get help if you need more than the gym can offer. We are all a little f**ked up and could use some outside help. Otherwise, how else are you going to save people from tall trees? Until next time, friends!