I’ve been talking a lot about mental health lately, and I’m not going to apologize for it. I teeter on the era where while growing up, mental health was embarrassing and spoken of in whispers. If someone got counseling, it was because they “couldn’t handle it” or “couldn’t fix the problem themselves.” As I got older, I realized the people spouting those absurdities were the most broken. 

Sometimes though, people still get weird talking about it. Like I’ve been asked a handful of times if I think I’ll be on anxiety pills forever. Like uhhhh, idk man? Maybe? I don’t really think it matters as long as I am staying in the positive.

But it’s hard not to let the perceived judgment from others affect how you feel about yourself. It’s hard to wake up and take your pills every day, carrying around the idea that you aren’t “normal” because you need a little extra help to function.

Recently I decided I was going to stop taking my medication and simply WILL myself to be normal (like I hadn’t tried that oh, idk, 100000 times prior?) But God love me, I tried so hard. I would say things like “you don’t need these, you can be normal by yourself” and “people can take you seriously now.”

Well it didn’t work. I quickly turned into a train wreck, where the train is desperately trying to get itself back on the tracks, but the harder it tries, the harder it crashes into itself. 

Which is wild to me that I would want to stop being helped, because years ago, all I wanted was to walk into a store without having an anxiety attack. Before, I would have to put in my earbuds, start music, and sit in my car for a little while before I could work up the nerve to go in. And God help me if I got a text or phone call while I was there. I would start panicking and sweating for no reason. I just wanted to be a normal person.

Today, I can walk freely into pretty much any store, no earbuds, and go about my business, no problem. So why should I be embarrassed of the little helper pills that have helped me get to this point? I should be motherf**k**g proud of these b**ches!

So, let’s stop being embarrassed that some of us need a little extra help, and start embracing it.  Solidarity, sister! 

Until next time, friends!